Thursday, August 1, 2013

Flights and Randoms

Happy August! Let's kick this shit off:

As you all know, The Duke is close, but he is not perfect. As a young man living far away from home, having a relatively successful career and just being adventurous, the need for flying is a very real one. The Duke, however, is terrified of those iron eagles. Today, he must hop aboard one and go home. Cue the Ozzy Osbourne. Rest assured that I will be pump full of Bud Light, Jager and Xanax. I'm hoping by the time I sit down on that plane that there will be zero fucks given regarding life and death thus releasing all fears. This is the hope and is completely obtainable. It's a short flight but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Random Thought: I need a haircut today so I am going to get a haircut today. Coincidentally, Sports Clips sent me a free haircut coupon this morning. A sign from the Gods? Likely. I am getting a haircut today.

Random Complaint: This is aimed at the social medialites that plague my newsfeeds and timelines with your mindless drivel. You do NOT have insomnia, you just had a bad night of sleep. You do NOT have ADD, you're just distracted. You do NOT have OCD, you're just particular. You do NOT have a migraine, your head just hurts and you're a pussy. Everything has to be a fucking disease to you people. It's all apart of being a goddamn human being. Fuck you and your narcissistic being. I hate you and everything you stand for. Go watch the Kardashians and fly a fucking kite.

Random Observation: Everyone around me is buying a house, getting married, having kids etc... and I am just sitting here masturbating. I'll get it together. Next year.

Random Pun: My hamster died last night. Yea, he fell asleep at the wheel

-DSA

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