I'm back

It Feels Like The First Time......

I remember my first time. After years of working towards a goal of putting part of my body inside another human, I accomplished my goal. There is something to be said for when a man works towards a goal and he accomplishes what he set out to do. Since that day my though process returns to the female vagina once every 7.2 seconds - and that is after I fire one off that morning. If I forgo said morning drainage, that number is cut down to 4.8 seconds.

You guys have become my new vagina lust. Ever since my first post I have been chasing that initial rush. I am not sure if I will ever gain it back but I owe it to the 7 visitors to this blog to try my best.

I guess what I am trying to say is. I missed posting on this blog.

My First Trip to Canada

A buddy from back home and I have birthdays that are a week apart (he is a year younger so I guess technically 358 days apart, sans leap year). In this particular year I was turning 20 and he was turning 19 and we all know 19 is the ripe year to let yourself out in the wild in the homeland of our neighbors to the north. He approaches me at school one day and says he's planning to go to Canada for the weekend, rattles off the name of three of our other friends and says I should come with. Abso-fucking-lutely I'm coming. And here is how, despite my many brown outs, this whole weekend went down:

We were all full of piss and vinegar to get there but realizing that this trip is all boring-ass highway, we were subdued rather quickly.

After a solid 3 hours of driving we finally get to the Rainbow Bridge and our spirits quickly picked back up.

We pull off the main stretch of glowing lights and beautiful babies (Vince Vaughn, Swingers, great movie) and pull into a hotel. Well get out and walk up to it as the guy managing it comes out to approach us at the same time.

We tell him we need a room. He looks at us and says, "5 guys no thanks." We all walk away, and he's all like this.

After learning from our first mistake, we split up and two of us, one being myself, peacock into another hotel and were blessed with a room....


... this my friends, will be continued.

Random Thought...

So, we all know that it is necessary to have an arranged order when dealing with numbers. We need 1 to come before 2 and on down the line. We need 2 to have a higher value than 1 for mathematical purposes. A large portion of our lives are based off of these numerical values, and when you really get down to it, everything we experience is math in some way, shape or form. So arranging numbers is absolutely necessary.

But why did we have to arrange our alphabet? Does Z really need to be the last letter? Is there any purpose behind that? I don't see a value in that and until one of you can explain this to me, I will stop doing my ABCs and start doing my TBFs or my PKHs. Anarchy- DSA

What Hansel Said

I was about to comment on Hansel's last post (scroll down, read it, dick) but I realized that the only thing that is read less than this blog is the comments. So I didn't comment. I posted. He's right though. We started out with such fire and passion and now it's dead much like that of many of my other dreams. I find myself laying in bed, alone, on a Saturday and still I'm undrafted. I had hopes that'd I'd go in a late round this year, but yet another year goes and the only draft I'm apart of is the Smuttynose Summer Ale on special for $3 a pint (btw, maybe this is just a Raleigh thing, but when did we start measuring things in pints? My metric is a bit rusty). Anywho, I will not be the one responsible for this fizzling out. The blood will NOT be on my hands. So what say you bloggers, will you be the change you want to see in this world? I know I will, will you?

-DSA

Your Weekly Horoscope with Hansel

Not many peeps logging blog hours this week. I'll be checking timesheets to make sure that you're not cheating the corporation on hours. Anyways, in the past this is what has happened with the blog. We make it a month or two before people realize that nobody actually reads this stuff and the same silly poop and fart jokes can be shared via text messages, facebook posts, or tweets. Based on this sad truth, this week's horoscopes are not based on Jennifer Angel or the New York Times or anything like that. There is but one horoscope for us all: If you believe in something (such as this blog), and you don't want to see that good thing die (or be deleted from the web), then do something about it (such as tell a friend, write a damn post, etc.). Take a little bit of responsibility if you enjoy this POS and let's make a conscious, team decision to push forward, or let this thing fizzle out like a shitty campfire. Do we need more writers? A suggestion box? I just don't know anymore. At this point, I'm good either way. I've done as much as I could for this little dream, but not all dreams become reality, and though this is reality, it is pathetic. If you want funny comments and quips, just text me. I'm full of stupid statements. If you want it posted for masses to see, then let's get masses to read, huh? Is that so much to ask? The decision is yours, America.

Dead Week

It's been a dead week here on the blog. Just making observations. Here's a cat picture.



I miss you all. -DSA