Well before I speak my piece (peace?) here, I want to commend Hansel for still posting. I get it, no one reads this but us, but fuckin' a do I enjoy it. So thanks Hansel, you make everyday a little brighter with that big smile, beautiful blonde hair and your rapist's wit.
Thank you
Tom, Charlie...where are you guys? I feel like a boyfriend at the end of a relationship that I know is over but I keep fighting to make it work. Am I holding onto strings much better left to fray here? Tom, I miss your gifs and blunt force sexism and bigotry. How do I go on without it? Charlie, I miss the rhetoric and insightful, yet degenerative advice that you provide. How do I go on without it? Tell me how?
I sit here, alone, drinking a Bud Light because that's what single 26 year olds do. We drink alone. I haven't had a girlfriend in two years now and I'm more comfortable with the fact that no one loves me and that I will die alone than I am with the fact that this blog looks like it's dying for a 2nd time. I'm not a vet but blogs aren't cats. They don't have 9 lives. They have an undefined amount of lives because they're digital and they don't actually live, per se. But that's besides the fact. The fact of the matter is I miss you guys. Make me feel again. Make me alive.
Also, rest in peace to those camo boxers. Oh, to have spent that much time close to your buttsack; what I would give. I envy the life that they had. RIP Camo Mammie Jammies, I think we all owe them a moment of silence. -DSA
Showing posts with label underpants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label underpants. Show all posts
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Sad panda
Hey guys,
Sorry for taking a break from the blog for a few days. I've been in mourning for a few hours now after realizing that I'm going to have to toss a trusty favorite pair of boxers. I'm more of a boxer briefs guy these days, but these Camo bad boys have been with me for years, so when I had to make the decision to let them go instead of get them framed, it was tough. I only keep a few pairs of boxers around these days, including a blue pair with green pears on them that read "nice pear" and of course my purple ones with Christmas penguins. And finally, the old faithfuls, these Camo mamma jammas. They didn't have shit stains or anything, just some natural wear and tear over time caused by plenty of use, and perhaps my little bean bag. Anyways, here's to them. May they keep some homeless mans bits and tackle swinging freely for as long as they are not shreds.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
A bit of advice
Did you know that a "bit" is a piece of information that reduces uncertainty by half? I knew that.
And to answer the question that's been burning in your burn since we re-started this blogging expedition: Garnier Fructis 2-in-1 Shampoo-Conditioner.
Moving forward, onto my advice. While spending some daily time on the porcelain throne earlier, I couldn't help but think about how comfortable I've become pooing away from home base. In fact, I often prefer it. This particular chud was even taking place while in the comfort of my own home, but this thought still popped into my head. There are certain subtleties that you can't help but miss when doing your business as a member of the visiting team (e.g., a cozy clean toilet seat, magazines and reading of your choice, toilet paper that doesn't feel like sand paper, pictures next to the toilet like the one listed in Figure 1, etc), but those are just comforts, and comforts are such a small part of the deuce equation.
Figure 1
Honestly, if you're shitting at work or school, those toilets are probably getting cleaned more often (daily) than your home commode (whenever someone of the opposite sex is coming over). Furthermore, and this one is HUGE for me, you're using someone else's TP. Nothing grinds my gears more than having to buy stupid shit like TP, paper towels, deodorant, toothpaste, etc. If I can minimize on those costs, I'm going to do it. Each time I have to waste my hard-earned greenbacks on garbage like that, it's just a reminder of how many beers I can no longer purchase because of it. If you're taking a dumper away from home though, you're just pooing on someone else's tab. Score! You can go to town and use as much of that shit as you want (see Figure 2) - wad it up thick enough and it's almost like you're not scraping our b-hole with coarse sand paper. Listen, long story short: home provides you with luxuries, but luxuries come with a price. My advice is to get comfortable defecating at school or work. If you can avoid gas stations, bars, and restaurants (particularly since people treat public restrooms like an R-Kelly slam), that's OK, but if work and school poops are possible - get used to them! A lot of the time you'll be on the clock anyways, so you'll be getting paid to lay cable. Double score.
Figure 2
Happy shitting, friends!
And to answer the question that's been burning in your burn since we re-started this blogging expedition: Garnier Fructis 2-in-1 Shampoo-Conditioner.
Moving forward, onto my advice. While spending some daily time on the porcelain throne earlier, I couldn't help but think about how comfortable I've become pooing away from home base. In fact, I often prefer it. This particular chud was even taking place while in the comfort of my own home, but this thought still popped into my head. There are certain subtleties that you can't help but miss when doing your business as a member of the visiting team (e.g., a cozy clean toilet seat, magazines and reading of your choice, toilet paper that doesn't feel like sand paper, pictures next to the toilet like the one listed in Figure 1, etc), but those are just comforts, and comforts are such a small part of the deuce equation.
Figure 1
Honestly, if you're shitting at work or school, those toilets are probably getting cleaned more often (daily) than your home commode (whenever someone of the opposite sex is coming over). Furthermore, and this one is HUGE for me, you're using someone else's TP. Nothing grinds my gears more than having to buy stupid shit like TP, paper towels, deodorant, toothpaste, etc. If I can minimize on those costs, I'm going to do it. Each time I have to waste my hard-earned greenbacks on garbage like that, it's just a reminder of how many beers I can no longer purchase because of it. If you're taking a dumper away from home though, you're just pooing on someone else's tab. Score! You can go to town and use as much of that shit as you want (see Figure 2) - wad it up thick enough and it's almost like you're not scraping our b-hole with coarse sand paper. Listen, long story short: home provides you with luxuries, but luxuries come with a price. My advice is to get comfortable defecating at school or work. If you can avoid gas stations, bars, and restaurants (particularly since people treat public restrooms like an R-Kelly slam), that's OK, but if work and school poops are possible - get used to them! A lot of the time you'll be on the clock anyways, so you'll be getting paid to lay cable. Double score.
Figure 2
Happy shitting, friends!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)