Your Parents Would Be DIsappointed

Well before I speak my piece (peace?) here, I want to commend Hansel for still posting. I get it, no one reads this but us, but fuckin' a do I enjoy it. So thanks Hansel, you make everyday a little brighter with that big smile, beautiful blonde hair and your rapist's wit.

Thank you Tom, Charlie...where are you guys? I feel like a boyfriend at the end of a relationship that I know is over but I keep fighting to make it work. Am I holding onto strings much better left to fray here? Tom, I miss your gifs and blunt force sexism and bigotry. How do I go on without it? Charlie, I miss the rhetoric and insightful, yet degenerative advice that you provide. How do I go on without it? Tell me how?

I sit here, alone, drinking a Bud Light because that's what single 26 year olds do. We drink alone. I haven't had a girlfriend in two years now and I'm more comfortable with the fact that no one loves me and that I will die alone than I am with the fact that this blog looks like it's dying for a 2nd time. I'm not a vet but blogs aren't cats. They don't have 9 lives. They have an undefined amount of lives because they're digital and they don't actually live, per se. But that's besides the fact. The fact of the matter is I miss you guys. Make me feel again. Make me alive.

 Also, rest in peace to those camo boxers. Oh, to have spent that much time close to your buttsack; what I would give. I envy the life that they had. RIP Camo Mammie Jammies, I think we all owe them a moment of silence. -DSA

Google Image- Fixed DSA

This is the first image that comes up when you google image search 'best picture on the Internet.

2013: The Year of Me

By now we should have all realized that we successfully survived the December 21, 2012 apocalypse:


But enough about that. I have decided that this year, the year 2013, MMXIII, dos mil trece, you get the picture, will be my year. And not to be a braggart but so far it has been. I've been killing it and I want to give myself a little proverbial back pat and express this to my fellow bloggers. Making strides at work? Check. Traveling whenever the fuck I get the chance to or get bored? Check. Females up and down the east coast? Check. Using the line, "smile if you're as horned up as I am," to a majority of said females and it working? Check that shit.

Shit, I've seen Duke, happy birthday by the way, more times this year than I've seen my family and friends back in the home stomping grounds. Who can say that and not consider it a solid year? Probably Trev, but that's here nor there.

Anyways I'm off my boastful monologue and I now invite you, fellow bloggers, to tell the rest of us how you've made this year, the year 2013, your year. Did you dodge a bullet from a crazy one night stand? Did you get that promotion at work you've been working towards? Did you, after them knocking on your door trying to spread to you the word of The Lord, successfully turn a Jehovah's Witness into an agnostic or even an atheist?

Spill it.
-Chuck

Tuesday Bluesday

Hey All. It's been a few days for the big guy. After returning to the homeland for the better part of 5 days, I return to my current state of residence about 8 pounds heavier and with a few thousand less brain cells. When I wasn't being the world's greatest uncle, I was being the world's greatest drunk. I usually combine the two and call myself the world's greatest drunkle, but the novelty has since worn off on that and I realize that it wasn't that funny of a joke to begin with. My worst joke is still better than most's best joke so go fuck yourself imaginary judgmental man that reads this blog.

I usually keep my Tuesday posts short and sweet and just provide a YouTube video of some classic song to cheer you up and remind you that sometimes 5 grown men in spandex and makeup is acceptable and completely hetero, but since it's been a few days, I just wanted to touch base and let you know that I'm here and I'm queer. Not really, but kind of.

I'd like to give to digital round of applause to the two of you still posting. Hansel and Charlie, you two keep me young. Your posts actually had me laughing at work today like an idiot. Since I am an idiot, it turned out to be quite fitting. Well done gents. Tom Ace, wheredafuckyoubeen? I wanted you all to know that I have been thinking of ways to expand this blog and it's readers. I don't have any ideas but wanted you to know that I was thinking about it. I will keep you posted. *bated breath waits*

OK, so onto today's song. I usually try to keep it at a nice classic number or something that's easy to listen to regardless of tastes. My Queen post was evidence of this. Tenacious D was for humor and Dire Straits cuz that song is just so damn catchy. Well today, The Duke is going to be a little more selfish. Tomorrow is my 26th annual birthday (that's right, it's an annual event). With that said, here comes a song from my favorite band that has a little sex, drugs and some good old fashioned rock n' roll. And yes, that is actually a girl getting the brakes beat off in the middle interlude. Oh to be a rock star...the life you live. Without further ado.

And that, my friends, is how you play the fucking guitar. The Duke; over and out. -DSA