The Duke turns 20-something

I'd like to special happy birthday to our guy, Duke St. Albans, as he turns 26 (+/- 1, to be safe). The Duke and I have had our share fond of memories together, and it's about time I acknowledge some of these homo-erotic fantasies to the rest of you. Tom and Charlie, I'm sure you have some classic Duke-isms, as well, and I'd love for you to share these, too. Since I'm both poor and cheap as shit, I will not be splurging on a birthday present for my man DSA. Rather, this compilation of memories will have to suffice until I see him in about a month's time. Then, I shall buy birthday beers and celebrating can commence. Anyways, here are my Top 5 Duke and Hansel Moments, in no particular order (because they're all equally as awesome). Many of these will revolve around The Duke's trip to NYC to visit me in the summer of 2011, because it was a debauchery-filled trip of nonsense and drunken good times. Here goes.

1. Drunken Tour of NYC: We snuck bottles of liquor onto a NYC double-decker bus as we took a tour of Manhattan. There was Jaeger (however the fuck you spell it), there was Vodka, there were good times. We got belligerent, yelled at animate and inanimate objects, probably groped each other, and had an all around good time.

2. Father's Day Baseball Game at Citi Field: We had breakfast sandwiches and 40s of Olde English delivered to my apartment at like 10AM. Drank the 40s on the subway ride over to Queens for the Mets game. Proceeded to play a rousing game of "If you guess what the next batter does at the plate correctly, the other person has to drink some of his $8 beer". This quickly went from "I bet he singles" or "I bet he walks" to, "I bet he bunt singles down the first base line" to, "I bet the pitcher boks and the runners advance" and etc. It went from sips of beers to full beers, and soon enough, Citi Field had probably collected well over $100 of our money and fathers everywhere were ashamed.

3. Duke and Hansel Eat Italian: It's no secret that the Duke loves him some Italian food. Post-Mets game, I took him to a little spot in midtown Manhattan, where in our drunken stuper, Duke and I fed each other food, wiped each other's mouths, and were just a complete all around mess.

4. Post-Italian food gayfest naptime: Things got pretty hazy throughout that meal, and by the time we got back to my place in the Upper West Side, we were hammered drunk, full of food, and ready to pass out. So we did. Apparently, we did so in our boxers in the same bed. I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but when we woke up and realized, we had a good laugh about it. Classic Duke and Hansel. We're totally straight though.

5. Black Velvet in the Basement: Many moons ago, The Duke came over to Hansel's house when we were both back in the homeland for a night of hanging out, catching up, and just watching some TV. Poppa Hansel had an unopened bottle of Black Velvet likely from a few decades ago when perhaps that was popular, so Duke and Hansel polish that poor sucker off in no time. Momma Hansel made breakfast the next morning. All around good 12 hours, I'd say.

And many, many more to come. Next up: Hansel visits The Duke in Raleigh in early September, and The Duke ventures southward at the end of October for some food old-fashioned Florida fun.

Happy Birthday, Duke!

<3
Hansel

Tuesday Bluesday

Hey All. It's been a few days for the big guy. After returning to the homeland for the better part of 5 days, I return to my current state of residence about 8 pounds heavier and with a few thousand less brain cells. When I wasn't being the world's greatest uncle, I was being the world's greatest drunk. I usually combine the two and call myself the world's greatest drunkle, but the novelty has since worn off on that and I realize that it wasn't that funny of a joke to begin with. My worst joke is still better than most's best joke so go fuck yourself imaginary judgmental man that reads this blog.

I usually keep my Tuesday posts short and sweet and just provide a YouTube video of some classic song to cheer you up and remind you that sometimes 5 grown men in spandex and makeup is acceptable and completely hetero, but since it's been a few days, I just wanted to touch base and let you know that I'm here and I'm queer. Not really, but kind of.

I'd like to give to digital round of applause to the two of you still posting. Hansel and Charlie, you two keep me young. Your posts actually had me laughing at work today like an idiot. Since I am an idiot, it turned out to be quite fitting. Well done gents. Tom Ace, wheredafuckyoubeen? I wanted you all to know that I have been thinking of ways to expand this blog and it's readers. I don't have any ideas but wanted you to know that I was thinking about it. I will keep you posted. *bated breath waits*

OK, so onto today's song. I usually try to keep it at a nice classic number or something that's easy to listen to regardless of tastes. My Queen post was evidence of this. Tenacious D was for humor and Dire Straits cuz that song is just so damn catchy. Well today, The Duke is going to be a little more selfish. Tomorrow is my 26th annual birthday (that's right, it's an annual event). With that said, here comes a song from my favorite band that has a little sex, drugs and some good old fashioned rock n' roll. And yes, that is actually a girl getting the brakes beat off in the middle interlude. Oh to be a rock star...the life you live. Without further ado.

And that, my friends, is how you play the fucking guitar. The Duke; over and out. -DSA