Oops...I did it again, and some other ranting

Good afternoon folks,

Firstly, I apologize for my brief hiatus from posting to our little blog here. Rest assured I wasn't just ignoring my devoted 3-4 readers, and my hiatus was from everything in life other than laying on the couch and partaking in some good, quality self-loathing. Why? Well, since it was Friday it meant I had to dust off my drinking shoes and hit the town with my group of comrades. There was plenty to drink to, as Hansel-pants was celebrating a recent move to a lovely little home in a less sketchy part of town. Long story short, mucho cervezas were consumed by all, good times were had, and yesterday ended up being a pretty wasted day. No seriously, I was still drunk all day I think. Not even a large latte and calzone that ended in a food baby could put a dent in this bad boy of a hangover, so most of my day was spent on the couch drifting in and out of shitty drunken naps. This, of course, led to a horrible night of sleep, and thus I have been up since 6:45AM. There are only so many times that one can check Facebook and twitter and all forms of social media in a matter of hours, which even led me to check my LinkedIn account, and where this rant will now target its focus.

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with LinkedIn, the best way to describe it is as a "professional Facebook." You fill out a profile with your educational and work history, you can post resumes, provide and receive recommendations from colleagues, etc. What I find pretty hilarious, though, is that when people go all out and take their LinkedIn profiles uber serious. They make a special trip to Walgreen's and take a passport-type photo of them in a shirt/tie or a killer new blouse from J.Crew, and they eloquently word their education and work history in a way that makes it seem like their community college was Harvard-esque and that shitstain of a summer internship four years ago was as important as a Navy SEAL mission. Even better is when these jabroni's have public Facebook, twitter, or Instagram profiles that can be just as easily accessed by potential employers. So, these boners clean up their LinkedIn profile to make themselves sound like real fucking boy scouts, unbeknownst to the fact that their employers are checking all forms of social media and can still see their shirtless, duck face, hammered drunk party pictures. Oh, you didn't get that job that you recently applied for? Maybe it's because you tweeted a picture of yourself wearing an empty beer case on your head and your most recent Facebook status is "Fuuuuuuuuccccked up." Here's the moral to this little tirade: Don't be a mench and keep your shit private. If you go about these things correctly, you can still party on, Wayne, AND make career moves like a G. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna grab some couch time and kick it Hansel-style.